Are you Happy?

 "Are you happy?"

How often do you ask this question to the people you love? or how often do people ask you this question? What do you answer them? Do you just take it as a joke and say something funny? Do you do it just because you think you're so humorous or do you do it to hide the fact that you are actually not happy? Maybe you just say you're unhappy but the person who asked this question doesn't know how to handle a situation like this and the conversation just gets awkward and maybe the person is understanding enough and helps you to talk about it but you're just too tired to go through that conversation because that's all that you've been feeling lately, tired. Even though you do nothing all day, stay at home, try to avoid meeting people, but you're still tired.

© Kartik Sharma 

I'm tired. Most of the times. It took me an uncountable number of attempts to finally bring myself up to write this blog. I really don't know what I want to say, or what should I say to people who are not happy. 

It's okay? Fuck, I know it's not okay! 

Everything will be fine? Lol, what if it doesn't? and if yes then when.

Stop overthinking? Do you really think I'd even start thinking at all If I could control it?

Everybody's going through something? Well, I don't know how is that supposed to make anyone feel better? It's like saying a poor person, oh you're poor? It's okay there are a lot of other poor people.

You see, there's nothing I could say to make you feel better and if you are still expecting that I would eventually end up giving a solution, I'm sorry it's not going to happen. 

© Kartik Sharma

But I get it, It's always so easier to just say "I am fine/okay" instead of telling somehow how fucked up everything has been, maybe because you don't want the other person to worry/ think you are weak. or maybe you don't have a reason for being unhappy. It sure is an easier way to not to talk it out but definitely not the right one.


So, you wake up every day and choose the mask you want to wear, you choose the kind of person you want people to think you are. You’re nice with some and evil with others. It sure seems quite uneasy initially but with the time you become so comfortable wearing the mask that it actually becomes a part of your personality and you don’t even bother to take it off because it’s just easier this way. 

© Kartik Sharma

But you know what’s scary about this? Sometimes, It reaches to a point when it doesn’t even feel like that you’re wearing a mask anymore and you end up forgetting who you really are, within and that’s when you lose yourself .. from .. yourself.

And the more you grow, you see how everyone is messed up in their own ways, some people are just better at hiding it while some just give up. 

© Kartik Sharma

A friend of mine is sick of a toxic relationship.
A friend of mine is not able to decide what she wants from life.
A friend of mine is fed up by her family restrictions.
A friend of mine is tired of being in a one-sided relationship. 
A friend of mine is worried about if he'll able to succeed in life.
A friend of mine is unhappy and just started therapy. 
A friend of mine is not able to find a job.
A friend of mine is hiding who she really is and pretends to be something she is not.
A friend of mine wants to leave a job because he's not happy. 
A friend of mine is desperately in the need of a relationship and feels lonely all the time.
A friend of mine just wants to break up with his girlfriend because he wants some space.

It can't be that all my friends have a shitty life and I believe that every one of us is going through some struggles. No matter if we talk about it or not, some people just know how to still stay positive while some of us don't know how to continue living a life like that. Everyone's suffering but still living. Happy or sad, still breathing. People say you need to find a distraction but wouldn't that also mean avoiding the situation instead of addressing it? I don't know. Maybe there's no certain set of rules, you gotta avoid a few things, address a few depending if the situation is under your control or not. 

Anyway, I just want to end this blog with these thoughts and one question for you.

Are you happy? 

© Kartik Sharma

And then 

there are days 

when I feel, do and say nothing.

An autumn leaf 

just drifting through the wind,

abandoned by everyone,

detached from everything.

Ok, Bye.



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